Sunday, January 02, 2005

101 Things

Yes, another one. But there are cookies and milk at the end for those of you who slog all the way through.

1. I have the "perfect" family - me, hubby, daughter, son, dog, cat.
2. Who are all blessedly imperfect. (except maybe the dog - he is my perfect angel baby)
3. I am on the 25 yr. plan for getting a degree. By all accounts, I should ahve a bachelors in 2014.
4. My husband is 16 yrs. older than me, but we think that's okay because in maturity years, he's younger than my cat.
5. I am a frustrated writer.
6. I am frustrated mainly because my novel is set in Orange County (where I grew up) but the evil "The OC" has made me feel I should be ashamed of my home "county".
7. I have been knitting for about 8 months.
8. I met my husband in a bar 10 years ago.
9. He called me a bitch.
10. I went out with him anyway... and here we are.
11. My husband succeeds at every thing he does, which I try not resent him for.
12. I work in marketing.
13. The last seven years of my life have been spent marketing male, engineer dweeb dominated products (automated light switches, engineering software).
14. I would sell a kidney to work for a company that sold something like makeup or clothes.
15. I got a new boss this year, and he wants to move our entire company 90 miles away because it's more convenient for him.
16. Therefore, I am pondering new career options (surely someone out there is the CEO of Urban Decay and just DYING to hire me? I'm even wearing pleather lip pencil right now.)
17. I am thinking of starting my own business this year - a hybrid knitting store/book store/cafe/opium den (it's gotta be less addictive than yarn.)
18. I have several holes in my head. For real. My baby soft spots are permanent.
19. I have never renewed my car registration on time. As I type, it is two months out of date.
20. I have had only one nasty breakup. But that one ended up in extended litigation.
21. All the rest of my exes are awesome. (And several are still single and looking. Ladies?)
22. My "perfect guy" (prior to the hubby) knew I was in love with him for two years, but never gave it up.
23. I cry at movies. All movies. Including non-ovious selections like The Little Mermaid, Big Daddy and Varsity Blues.
24. I have a secret obsession with Paul Walker.
25. I have a blatantly obvious obsession with Colin Farrell.
26. I made my husband watch The Rundown three times so I could see Seann William Scott.
27. If I could be any celebrity, it would be Angelina Jolie.
28. Both of my pets are rescue animals.
29. I will spend hours reading pound listings to find animals for coworkers who are looking for a dog.
30. My volunteering/donating/promoting urges revolve around three groups: kids, animals and women. I donate to literacy programs, battered womens shelters and animal rescues.
31. I want to buy a bigger house so I have more stash storage.
32. My husband thinks it's because I want room for another baby, but really it's all about the crafts.
33. I am half japanese, and half whatever other nationality you can throw in from Europe.
34. When I was rebelling in high school, I told half my friends that my dad got my mom out of a catalog.
35. I told the other half he brought her home from the war.
36. My mother is a saint for putting up with me. I try every day to make that decade up to her.
37. My son plays soccer. I am a soccer mom. I'm not really sure how that happened to me.
38. He was invited to play on an all-star team for the first time ever this year, and I am incandescent with pride.
39. I blew off three interested colleges in high school because my parents convinced me I wanted to be a missionary. When I came to my senses three months later, I had missed all of my application deadlines.
40. I learned to snow ski when I was twelve. The first day, I took out an entire class of tiny tots in the process.
41. The next day, my dad got me a cute instructor, and somehow that made all the difference. My previous instructor fell over when he saw me upright and skiing.
42. My husband and his entire family can waterski, wakeboard, etc. like pros.
43. I learned to water ski three years ago. It is still not a pretty sight.
44. I tried out for Jeopardy, but didn't make it past the first cut.
45. I have been to Japan twice, and would love to go back.
46. I have also been to France, Spain, England and a bunch of states.
47. I grew up in Orange County, and I never want to live anywhere else.
48. But I would like to take extended vacations on the Magnificent Mile in Chicago.
49. I have a handbag addiction. There are bags and yarn hidden all over my house.
50. All of the clothes in my closet stick out about 6" from the wall. It's because I have to store/hide all of my extra yarn, books, craft supplies, and handbags behind them.
51. I have spent about $1000 at the Friends of the Library bookstore, 25 cents at a time.
52. I love to buy textbooks for random subjects I would never waste an entire semester on.
53. I went to japanese school for three years. At the time, I could read and write hiragana and katakana, and some kanji, and carry on elementary conversations about what I wanted to eat and what I did for summer vacation. I cannot remember a single word now.
54. I want to re-learn how to speak japanese.
55. When my boss and I went to Tokyo last year, I was the designated speaker. It consisted of pointing to maps and saying "koko, koko!" ("here, here!")
56. I'm getting ready to buy a new car - a 2005 Nissan Xterra.
57. I would rather drive a cheap car and wear expensive shoes.
58. My cat thinks he's a dog, and insists on sitting in your lap all day long.
59. I want a small dog next - a yorkie.
60. I read all the time. I think it may be an addiction, as it interferes with my ability to be productive and clean toilets.
61. I am an only child
62. My father wanted to name me Fifi. He thought it was exotic.
63. His backup choice was Ruth. My father is not allowed to name anything anymore.
64. For a boy, they picked out Matthew. Not so exotic.
65. I'm an emotional eater. I eat when happy. I eat when sad. I eat when frustrated, bored or turned on.
66. My favorite books are The Feast of All Saints, The Secret History, and - of course - Stitch N Bitch.
67. My current favorite writer is Robert Parker - he is a genius with dialogue, and one of the nicest authors I've ever met. He lets people bring old books - bags FULL of them - to his signings and signs every single one.
68. I would be too embarrassed to bring a bag full of his old books to a signing, but I own I think every one (like 20-something)
69. When pregnant with my son, I had it narrowed down to three names. I picked the one nobody liked because I was tired of everyone saying "oh - you have to name him ______!" Looking back, it was the best of the bunch, so all's well that ends well.
70. I hated clothes with cables on them until I started knitting. Now I think they're genius.
71. I think I may be the only person alive who didn't find Napoleon Dynamite hysterical. It makes me feel inadequate.
72. I believe that certain movies separate people into A/B categories based on their temperment or life experience. Glengarry Glen Ross, for instance. Love it = born salesperson. Hate it = not a born salesperson. Dogma. Raised in strict religion = piss yourself laughing. Not raised in strict religion = Not finding it quite so funny. Still happily in a strict religion = never saw it, or saw it and were appalled. This is not a scientific theory, but has yet to be disproven.
73. I am a horrible singer.
74. But it makes me happy and I sing all day long.
75. Were time travel possible, I would want to have a dinner party with Audrey Hepburn, Natalie Wood, Marilyn Monroe, and Jane Austen.
76. I have only dated one person my age, and one person younger than me. I evidently like 'em older, though I didn't see a pattern until after I got married.
77. My husband and I got married in Las Vegas. We were buying a house, so splurging on the big wedding was out of the picture.
78. I'm secretly sad I didn't have the big wedding.
79. I am the most neurotic person I know. I wish it was endearing, but I know it's not.
80. I'm afraid of flying, escalators, stairs, opaque liquids, car windows (but only when they're down like an inch and you peek your fingers out - I imagine that in an accident, they would chop your fingers off) and spiders (I once had a dream that I squished one, but it kept getting bigger, until it was the size of my parent's living room).
81. None of my grandparents are still alive.
82. Before my grandmother passed, for six months she didn't know who I was. She thought I was her younger sister. I was happy that she was happy to see me, but it also selfishly broke my heart.
83. My favorite TV show of all time is My So-Called Life.
84. Jordan Catalano is the picture in my head for the archetype of "the cutest boy ever".
85. My parents have been married for 33 years. If nonething else, they have driven home the message that - no matter how miserable you are - you never give up on your marriage.
86. I have only lived in three places. None were by myself.
87. I was a cocktail waitress (twice), and I was horrible at it.
88. I like plain old fiction better than I like literature.
89. I like to cook, but only in spurts. I will make my family eat drive-through for weeks on end.
90. There are very few foods I will not eat with gravy. It is the all-purpose seasoning.
91. When I was in high school, my mother would make three or four Cool Whip size containers of extra gravy and freeze it. I would eat it with toast for breakfast for months.
92. And yet still fit into a size 3. Metabolism is wasted on the young.
93. Eeyore and Hello Kitty make my heart smile.
94. I wish I could shop solely in Japanese markets for the rest of my life.
95. I hate reading the newspaper because it makes me cry. #23 may seem to diminish the impact of this, but it's a totally different kind of cry.
96. My husband, lord love him, is one of the most shallow people I have ever met. I am his concession to being non-superficial.
97. I have lost about 400 lbs. in the last decade. Unfortunately, I gained 450 in that same time period.
98. I was always a night owl. In the last five years, I have stopped being a night owl, but have not turned into a morning person to compensate. I am really at my best for some random hours in the middle of the afternoon.
99. I wish I were athletic. But I lack drive. And coordination.
100. I can sleep through anything.
101. I lied about the cookies and milk.


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